I just wrote a big long post and somehow deleted it all. Geesh that is so demoralizing. Okay, I'll try to duplicate it. I have to admit a guilty pleasure of mine, I watch the 600lb Life on TLC. I don't know if it is for the morbid curiosity, or for motivation or maybe a little of both. For those who haven't seen it, the show follows a 600lb person for a year of their life as they go through the process of weight loss surgery in a clinic in Houston. Some of the show is produced reality TV trope but the bulk is just real, raw life as it happens to these poor lost souls. As you watch you can begin to see the patterns in each person. First, nearly everyone who gets to that size suffered abuse of some kind as a child. They learned to turn to food for comfort and in some cases for safety. If I'm fat nobody will want to do that to me again. It's really so sad and other than a few exceptions, I really just feel horrible for these people. As I sat on my recliner, eating myself into oblivion I would watch that show and wonder if I would qualify some day. If I didn't change then the answer would have easily been yes. There is a moment when each of them step on a scale for the first time in a long time and they are shocked at what their weight has gotten to. I had that moment when I first stepped on the scale 25 days ago. My scale didn't say 600+ lbs but it did say 367, which is 20 lbs higher than I'd ever been. Worse still, I was the most out of shape I'd ever been before. Even at my higher weights, I've always been pretty athletic but I'd let that go too. My job was sedentary, my life was as well. The whole package was killing me day by day. This time is different though, I feel it. Writing on this blog is a major reason why. Even if no one sees this, I am accountable every morning for what I did the day before. I have to answer to that next post and I love it.
One of the other issues I see very commonly on that show is the emotional eating derailing their efforts. Because food was their friend in their times of darkness, many of the subjects would let any happening in life derail them. It was their excuse to return to their old friend, food. In order to succeed at this a person must not just learn, but truly believe that food is not fun, it is not comforting, it is not your friend, it will not make anything better. Food addiction is the hardest because unlike tobacco or alcohol, you can't give up food. Imagine if you needed 3 cigarettes a day to survive. How hard would it be to have no more than those 3? We have to view food as fuel and nothing more. If I go out to eat it is to enjoy the company of others, not the food. I know that sounds boring, or maybe even a little impractical, but I still enjoy what I eat without letting it consume my every thought. 25 days ago my entire day was planned around what I was going to eat. Now I have so much more energy for taking my kids to the park, the splash pad, the lake, the museum. I've spent more quality time with my 3 year olds in the last 25 days than I have the last year. And I'm still 352 lbs! The difference is so huge though. I am eating so much better so even at my weight I feel terrific. I can't imagine what it will be like to get down to 250 again or 200. I will get there. There is no doubt in my mind.
It was a good day for me. I started the morning off with a bike ride although I might have to rethink my strategy there. The path I chose was all uphill for at least the first 3 miles and I didn't make it. I am simply too out of shape to climb that much all at once and at the beginning. I lasted only 20 minutes before turning around and coasting home. I will get there if I keep trying every day and I will, but today really took it out of me, even with that little time on the bike. When I got home my heart was pumping, and I was sweating profusely. I did feel better as the day wore on and did just fine at the children's museum fro 2 hours chasing my 3 year olds around.
Day 25 meals:
Breakfast - 2 eggs scrambled, 2 pieces of bacon
Lunch - 3 beef franks with 1/4 cup peperoncini peppers, 2 cups iceberg lettuce w/nippon salad dressing
Dinner - 5 romaine lettuce wrap tacos, avocados, tomatoes, sour cream, cheese, taco meat
Snacks - AM - Atkins Dark Chocolate shake, PM - no snack
Total counts for day 25, 19.3g Carbs, 1,620 Calories, 110g fat, 96g protein
As usual I struggled to get enough food in me, this time I was low on both carbs and calories by quite a bit. After exercising I just don't feel like eating anything. I guess that's a good problem to have. I'd rather be there than starving all the time and miserable. I am posting a picture of my new mountain bike below.
